Never Seeming to Get Enough Time

A few (or maybe slightly more than a few) years ago, Stroud-sensei made a comment at a party about how people have families and then disappear for a while. Well, with the coming of Maya, that has happened. Now to be sure, I miss practice. I miss being able to go three times a week and really working on things. Truth is now, I barely get to go and can’t possible manage to tread water. I’ve slipped, but I understand that. I still work out and practice as much as a I can (maybe a couple of times a month) for each art, but that’s not enough. Granted, I haven’t finished a new poem in a couple of years (I’ve started dozens though). Still, given the choice of more practice and more poems versus my time with Maya, there is no question–my time with Maya always comes out ahead.

I still want to get back into it, but the reality is I’m probably a couple of years at least (give or take another kid). I’ll probably slip some more. My frustration is always that there is never enough time. Never enough time to practice, to think about the family financials, plan for college, the prom, a wedding–you get the idea. And yet, I’m always surprised at the persistence of that dull pulsing in the back of my mind–the one that thinks about the last throw and what I could have done better, maybe a little more of a twist of my upper waist, a little more release on the bottom waist, or maybe if I go back the second version of that poem about ancestors and change that one line…. There never seems to be enough time, but the funny thing is these little thoughts don’t seem to mind the wait.

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